Random Girl Rambles About The Keeper!!!!
That cute lil' gal that I'm holding over there is The
Keeper, which is a re-usable menstrual cup.
Anyway, I've been using The Keeper for three years now and I like it so much,
I bought the company! Seriously, I'm so satisfied
with it that I've been spreading the word about it for years. Last year, I took
another step... I'm now a distributor of The Keeper! So, read my babble about
it, and see if you're not convinced that you want to be the first on your block
to have one!
OK, I could go on for 8554 years about the horrors of mainstream
pads and tampons. Literally. So, here are a few advantages that The Keeper
I kinda like my fingers and toes.....
You all have heard of Toxic Shock Syndrome, right? They probably talked about
it for 32 seconds in your middle school health class and maybe you've noticed
the letters TSS jump out at you from that little
flyer that you take out of the Tampax box and throw right into the garbage?
Well, of course, there is a strong link between tampon use and TSS, and TSS
causes all sorts of lovely things, such as having your fingers and toes rot
off of your body or maybe cost you your life. It ain't worth it.
Clearly, The Keeper has a low risk of you contracting
TSS from using it. For one thing, it's isn't made of synthetic materials (like
rayon) that are strongly linked to TSS. Also, those petal
soft applicators that tampons have cause lacerations in the vaginal walls,
which can make it easier for the bacteria to enter the bloodstream, causing
TSS. The fact that The Keeper doesn't absorb, (interesting tangent here....
did you know that tampons absorb 65% blood and 35%
other vital lube stuff? Clearly, vaginal secretions are there as part of the
natural cleansing process, and it just can't be good to alter the environment
of the vagina like that... end of tangent!) but rather collects the blood is
However, I heard from someone who should know, that there
IS a risk of getting TSS from The Keeper, because the staph. that causes
the disease adheres to the latex of The Keeper. Therefore, there is a similiar
risk as of getting TSS from a diaphram. At this
time, I believe that an official study is being made, so I'll keep you posted
To learn more about TSS, go here.
This is also where to go to learn about Terra Femme tampons, which are made
of all natural materials and a much healthier choice for women who want to use
Disposable Pads and Tampons are making the
Earth a festering place to live.... Now, come on, Humans! Everybody I
know claims to be just SO interested in protecting the environment. And I find
it really funny that women who wouldn't consider using a paper plate STILL throw
away thousands and thousands of pads and tampons
during their lifetimes. Those pads are hanging out in landfills with all of
those diapers. And tampons are screwing up are septic systems. A walk along
most beaches will reveal more tampon applicators than
seashells! Why wouldn't you want to do the best thing to help out our
Another aspect of pollution surrounding mainstream pads and tampons
is that of the chlorine bleaching process. See,
many humans (especially those old white guys who run the sanitary product industry)
believe that white = clean. So, in order to make
us think that their products are clean and, like the name, sanitary, they insist
on bleaching them gleaming white. Of course, the fact of the matter is that
pads and tampons aren't sterile (straight from a
festering warehouse to your favorite orifice) and that the "dirty" parts of
menstruation are actually quite clean (medically speaking, the uterus is considered
to be a sterile organ and the vagina is considered to be a clean organ). Obviously,
the bleaching process is unnecessary.
I make $6.50 an hour.....
The Keeper is cheap, cheap, cheap, especially when you take into consideration
that they will last for at least 10 years. This
averages out to only $3 a year for sanitary protection...
I think that I used to easily spend that much in an average month.
Unfortunately, the bleaching process is not without dire consequences. Factories
that do the bleaching process (not just for pads and tampons, but for many other
paper products as well) are horribly polluting our water.
Also, dioxin is a type of poison that is produced
in conjunction with chlorine bleaching. Now, there are levels of dioxin present
all over, and humans need to determine what a "safe" level of dioxin within
a product is. Here's a scary fact... the level of dioxin that is considered
safe in a tampon is 2 and a half times higher than
what is considered safe in toilet paper! Both are unacceptable, of course, but
clearly, one is something that comes in contact with your body for a few seconds
at a time, which the other is inside your body for days at a time for 40 years
of your life! I guess it all comes down to who is determining what is safe....
probably humans who use toilet paper and NOT tampons.... like those white guys
who run the sanitary protection industry!
To learn more about the dangers of cholrine bleaching, go here.
No more shoving a paper towel into your pants
and making a midnight run to the 7-Eleven..... You
get your Keeper and that's all you need! It really is SO convenient! You never
have to carry extra supplies around with you or worry about running out! Ah,
the freedom! Wheeeeee!
Still not convinced? Perhaps you are having some reservations, like......
BUT, wouldn't I have to (gasp!) touch myself DOWN
THERE?!?!? Ewwwwwwwww, GROSS!!!!! Well, this is clearly my least favorite
thing about us women. We tend to have certain issues
with our bodies. And, you know what? We just need to deal
with it! Anyway, yes, you WILL have to touch your girl parts in order
to insert and remove The Keeper. But it's really not a big deal. And, yes, sometimes
you might get a little blood on your hands, but, hell, that's what sinks are for!
Here's a brief summary of the insertion process.... you fold The Keeper in half
and hold it between your thumb and forefingers. You then insert just
those three fingers (I point this out because I talked to women who had
images of shoving their entire hands up their vaginas!) and The Keeper a couple
of inches into your vagina. I can't give a more precise measurement as we are
all built differently. You'll then need to turn it a few rotations to create
some suction, which prevents leaking. It's REALLY
no big deal... anybody can do it!
What if I have to change it in a public restroom?
I'd die if anyone came in and saw me rinsing out that little random cup!!!!
This reminds me of everyone's fear from the 7th grade... what if I get my period
in school?!?! What if someone sees me using the tampon machine?!?! Clearly, we
need to grow up and see that menstruation is not something to be ashamed of!
I've only had to change my Keeper in a public place about 2 times. This is because
it holds so much fluid that I typically leave mine in for about 12
hours, emptying it first thing in the morning and before bed.
If you DO need to empty it in public, you could just bring a damp paper towel
into the stall and wipe it out that way, then just clean it better next time
you're in the privacy of your own home.
But it looks so big!!! Is it comfortable???
Yep! You can hardly tell that you're wearing it! The only discomfort that I ever
experienced with The Keeper was the first time I used it. The tail was a little
too long for my body, and I was walking around with it getting tangled up in my
legs! But then genius me realized that I could trim it, and then I was just groovy.
Also, the first time I took it out, well, I didn't expect the suction.
That kinda hurt... I honestly thought that I was going to look down and see
my uterus sitting on top of that little cup! But all you need to do to avoid
this is to break the suction by squeezing the sides of The Keeper while it's
still inside you.
If you have some other questions, PLEASE write
me and I'll answer them as best as I can!
Did I convince you?!?!?!?!?
If you think you'd like to try a Keeper, please don't hesitate to order
one from me! Each one costs $30*, which includes shipping.
You have 2 sizes to choose from.... size A is for
women who have given birth. Size B is for everyone
And if you need some more convincing that you should order your Keeper from me,
let me mention that I also send them out the fastest! I always send them out within
3 days of when I receive payment! So, if you'll be getting your period
in a week and can't wait, I'm who you should turn to! :)
Of course, if you think that The Keeper festers, (and hardly anyone does... there's
a 97% satisfaction rate!) I'll send all of your $$$ back! Or you could always
just use it as a hat for all of your rock star dolls that are left over from the
And if you don't feel comfortable getting a Keeper from me, but you still want
one, PLEASE check out Eco Logique
Inc. which is the major distributor of The Keeper. You should definitely go
and buy from them if you'd feel funny mailing your payment to a little random
girl... or if you want to use a credit card.... then again, they probably deserve
your business more than I do regardless, 'cuz *they* were doing this when *I*
was still running around wearing o.b.! :)