Random Girl Rambles About The Keeper!!!!

That cute lil' gal that I'm holding over there is The Keeper, which is a re-usable menstrual cup.

Anyway, I've been using The Keeper for three years now and I like it so much, I bought the company! Seriously, I'm so satisfied with it that I've been spreading the word about it for years. Last year, I took another step... I'm now a distributor of The Keeper! So, read my babble about it, and see if you're not convinced that you want to be the first on your block to have one!

OK, I could go on for 8554 years about the horrors of mainstream pads and tampons. Literally. So, here are a few advantages that The Keeper has....

  • I kinda like my fingers and toes..... You all have heard of Toxic Shock Syndrome, right? They probably talked about it for 32 seconds in your middle school health class and maybe you've noticed the letters TSS jump out at you from that little flyer that you take out of the Tampax box and throw right into the garbage? Well, of course, there is a strong link between tampon use and TSS, and TSS causes all sorts of lovely things, such as having your fingers and toes rot off of your body or maybe cost you your life. It ain't worth it.

  • Clearly, The Keeper has a low risk of you contracting TSS from using it. For one thing, it's isn't made of synthetic materials (like rayon) that are strongly linked to TSS. Also, those petal soft applicators that tampons have cause lacerations in the vaginal walls, which can make it easier for the bacteria to enter the bloodstream, causing TSS. The fact that The Keeper doesn't absorb, (interesting tangent here.... did you know that tampons absorb 65% blood and 35% other vital lube stuff? Clearly, vaginal secretions are there as part of the natural cleansing process, and it just can't be good to alter the environment of the vagina like that... end of tangent!) but rather collects the blood is another asset.

    However, I heard from someone who should know, that there IS a risk of getting TSS from The Keeper, because the staph. that causes the disease adheres to the latex of The Keeper. Therefore, there is a similiar risk as of getting TSS from a diaphram. At this time, I believe that an official study is being made, so I'll keep you posted about this!

    To learn more about TSS, go here. This is also where to go to learn about Terra Femme tampons, which are made of all natural materials and a much healthier choice for women who want to use tampons.

  • Disposable Pads and Tampons are making the Earth a festering place to live.... Now, come on, Humans! Everybody I know claims to be just SO interested in protecting the environment. And I find it really funny that women who wouldn't consider using a paper plate STILL throw away thousands and thousands of pads and tampons during their lifetimes. Those pads are hanging out in landfills with all of those diapers. And tampons are screwing up are septic systems. A walk along most beaches will reveal more tampon applicators than seashells! Why wouldn't you want to do the best thing to help out our environment?

  • Another aspect of pollution surrounding mainstream pads and tampons is that of the chlorine bleaching process. See, many humans (especially those old white guys who run the sanitary product industry) believe that white = clean. So, in order to make us think that their products are clean and, like the name, sanitary, they insist on bleaching them gleaming white. Of course, the fact of the matter is that pads and tampons aren't sterile (straight from a festering warehouse to your favorite orifice) and that the "dirty" parts of menstruation are actually quite clean (medically speaking, the uterus is considered to be a sterile organ and the vagina is considered to be a clean organ). Obviously, the bleaching process is unnecessary.

    Unfortunately, the bleaching process is not without dire consequences. Factories that do the bleaching process (not just for pads and tampons, but for many other paper products as well) are horribly polluting our water. Also, dioxin is a type of poison that is produced in conjunction with chlorine bleaching. Now, there are levels of dioxin present all over, and humans need to determine what a "safe" level of dioxin within a product is. Here's a scary fact... the level of dioxin that is considered safe in a tampon is 2 and a half times higher than what is considered safe in toilet paper! Both are unacceptable, of course, but clearly, one is something that comes in contact with your body for a few seconds at a time, which the other is inside your body for days at a time for 40 years of your life! I guess it all comes down to who is determining what is safe.... probably humans who use toilet paper and NOT tampons.... like those white guys who run the sanitary protection industry!

    To learn more about the dangers of cholrine bleaching, go here.

  • I make $6.50 an hour..... The Keeper is cheap, cheap, cheap, especially when you take into consideration that they will last for at least 10 years. This averages out to only $3 a year for sanitary protection... I think that I used to easily spend that much in an average month.

  • No more shoving a paper towel into your pants and making a midnight run to the 7-Eleven..... You get your Keeper and that's all you need! It really is SO convenient! You never have to carry extra supplies around with you or worry about running out! Ah, the freedom! Wheeeeee!

  • Still not convinced? Perhaps you are having some reservations, like......

    BUT, wouldn't I have to (gasp!) touch myself DOWN THERE?!?!? Ewwwwwwwww, GROSS!!!!! Well, this is clearly my least favorite thing about us women. We tend to have certain issues with our bodies. And, you know what? We just need to deal with it! Anyway, yes, you WILL have to touch your girl parts in order to insert and remove The Keeper. But it's really not a big deal. And, yes, sometimes you might get a little blood on your hands, but, hell, that's what sinks are for!

    Here's a brief summary of the insertion process.... you fold The Keeper in half and hold it between your thumb and forefingers. You then insert just those three fingers (I point this out because I talked to women who had images of shoving their entire hands up their vaginas!) and The Keeper a couple of inches into your vagina. I can't give a more precise measurement as we are all built differently. You'll then need to turn it a few rotations to create some suction, which prevents leaking. It's REALLY no big deal... anybody can do it!

    What if I have to change it in a public restroom? I'd die if anyone came in and saw me rinsing out that little random cup!!!! This reminds me of everyone's fear from the 7th grade... what if I get my period in school?!?! What if someone sees me using the tampon machine?!?! Clearly, we need to grow up and see that menstruation is not something to be ashamed of!

    I've only had to change my Keeper in a public place about 2 times. This is because it holds so much fluid that I typically leave mine in for about 12 hours, emptying it first thing in the morning and before bed.

    If you DO need to empty it in public, you could just bring a damp paper towel into the stall and wipe it out that way, then just clean it better next time you're in the privacy of your own home.

    But it looks so big!!! Is it comfortable??? Yep! You can hardly tell that you're wearing it! The only discomfort that I ever experienced with The Keeper was the first time I used it. The tail was a little too long for my body, and I was walking around with it getting tangled up in my legs! But then genius me realized that I could trim it, and then I was just groovy.

    Also, the first time I took it out, well, I didn't expect the suction. That kinda hurt... I honestly thought that I was going to look down and see my uterus sitting on top of that little cup! But all you need to do to avoid this is to break the suction by squeezing the sides of The Keeper while it's still inside you.

    If you have some other questions, PLEASE write me and I'll answer them as best as I can!

    Did I convince you?!?!?!?!?

    If you think you'd like to try a Keeper, please don't hesitate to order one from me! Each one costs $30*, which includes shipping. You have 2 sizes to choose from.... size A is for women who have given birth. Size B is for everyone else.

    And if you need some more convincing that you should order your Keeper from me, let me mention that I also send them out the fastest! I always send them out within 3 days of when I receive payment! So, if you'll be getting your period in a week and can't wait, I'm who you should turn to! :)

    Of course, if you think that The Keeper festers, (and hardly anyone does... there's a 97% satisfaction rate!) I'll send all of your $$$ back! Or you could always just use it as a hat for all of your rock star dolls that are left over from the 70's! :)

    Order your Keeper from Miki!

    And if you don't feel comfortable getting a Keeper from me, but you still want one, PLEASE check out Eco Logique Inc. which is the major distributor of The Keeper. You should definitely go and buy from them if you'd feel funny mailing your payment to a little random girl... or if you want to use a credit card.... then again, they probably deserve your business more than I do regardless, 'cuz *they* were doing this when *I* was still running around wearing o.b.! :)